Thoughts……

When you are in a difficult relationship and you have exhausted all means to make amicable settlements where do you turn to? When all reasoning and good judgement fail where do you go to find answers? No man is an island they say, but in our quest to be whole does that mean we have to loose ourselves for the benefit and comfort that you have someone by your side? Aren’t we being just selfish in feeding our need to be secure and the need to be loved.

I wish I had answers to most of life’s mysteries and intricacies. But like you I am but a traveller. I dwell in the darkness of the world’s paths hoping I could find light in others or shed light to a stranger. This has always been my aim. Yet there are still those who were there to cause my destruction. Yet in return I gave them not my fear or anger but my prayers and understanding.

Yes it sounds surreal. I do get angry too. I keep a heavy load in my heart at times. I have anguish, pain, suffering and even hate. I am as normal as anyone else. But I realized if I keep all these all throught my life I will never be happy. I have to learn to let go. To be free of these things that causes me further damage.

It is hard to accept things that I have no control of. I would have wanted a good life. A very good life where I can be proud and say to myself, Life is wonderful! But the fact remains that you can’t have that good life you’ve always wanted. You have to be complacent to what you’ve got and give thanks for it.

Some people in the world are dying of hunger; I thought. My concern is petty compared to them. If you all feel you’re not loved then how about those children in Africa who are dying of starvation? Do you think they feel they are loved?

Still to many of us we are fortunate. Let us not forget this. That while we may worry about these things; there are much more people needing our love. This is something I realized just recently, my own relationship with someone dear to me is failing and I am so afraid of loosing that. But on some other side of the world people are dying because nobody cares. My problems are infantile compared to theirs. And though my heart breaks to see a lost love; what’s more heart breaking is the millions of death that is happening caused by our own ignorance and selfishness.